A few years ago I came up with this list of 21 things (and counting) that over the years have helped me to get into a high vibe, happy place. Because no matter how chaotic it feels, you still deserve to be happy. And you being a stressed out, angry basket case doesn’t make things better. So, I hope this helps! Feel free to post a comment to the blog if you have some of your own tips to share.
We just got a puppy! And two kittens! It’s been awhile since we’ve had animals. OMG I forgot how amazing it is to be around them. If you’re looking for some unconditional loving and you want to raise your vibe fast, get yourself an animal or go find one to cuddle.
Confession: I can get pretty whiny. I do most of my complaining at home. Stuff like, “Why am I the only one around here who brings the dishes up from the basement?” Or “I wish you wouldn’t leave your dirty clothes all over the floor!” Or “What do I have to do to get you to flush the damn toilet?”
2018 is the year I stop complaining, once and for all. Do you notice it never actually does any good? It puts you in a low vibe and brings everyone else down with you. Complaining is a passive aggressive way of making it known that your needs aren’t getting met. But when you do it that way, NOBODY gives a shit. Here’s what I’m going to do instead. ASK FOR WHAT I WANT without whining, blaming or shaming other people in the process.
Young Manchego from Trader Joes. You’re welcome.
#4 Copaiba Essential Oil
A few months ago I started taking this oil three times a day under my tongue. It’s a kind of cannabinoid (like CBD oil but A LOT cheaper). It works on the CB receptor that doesn’t get you high. (CB receptors create homeostasis — or balance —in the body.)
I started taking it because I saw a testimonial that it had helped someone with pretty bad anxiety. It helped me with a that AND it solved a health issue that was seriously impacting the quality of my life. I want everyone to try it.
I’ve heard it said that people are like bicycles, they have to keep moving forward or they fall down. I’m a goal oriented person. Working towards something gives me a sense of purpose. I get a little rush checking things off a list. I think the reason so many people bad talk goals is because they make such a big deal about failure. But failure is part of the process! Count on the setbacks and keep tweaking your strategy. You’ll keep going instead of giving up. You’ll start to love working towards something important to you. And you might even reach your goal. Here’e a goal setting guide I created to help.
When I’m able to turn off my thoughts and sit silently, observing my breathe, if I’m lucky, I feel God. There’s nothing like it. I search for that feeling every morning when I sit quietly to meditate. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I can’t get past my thoughts. I keep trying anyway.
#7 A Good Book
There’s something about a good book. I use audible to “better” mundane things I choose to do like cooking, folding laundry or running errands in the car.
#8 Good People
I’m married to the most fantastic man on the planet (I”m a little biased I know). We’ve been married for almost twenty five years. Sure, part of that is luck. I was in the right place at the right time. But there’s another part to this love story. Over and over I make the conscious choice to surround myself with high quality human beings like my husband. I just don’t let energy vampires into my orbit. Consciousness is contagious. Choose the people in your life wisely.
The other day I went to Kinkos to get some color copies of some headshots for my daughter’s acting showcase. “We can’t help you with that,” the cashier snarled. “It’s a copyright issue. You’ll have to do it yourself.” Of course I couldn’t figure out the damn copy machine because copy machines suck (Oops was i complaining?). The employees at Kinkos wouldn’t help, treating me like a criminal for trying to make copies of the photos.
On the way home, I ruminated and ruminated, wishing ill will on the entire Kinkos franchise. Then I noticed my crappy energy and started to remind myself of the obvious: My life is AMAZING. I counted all my blessings until the situation at Kinkos seemed minuscule in comparison to all the goodness in my world. I actually felt sorry for the surly cashier by the end.
#10 Essential Oils
Pinch the bridge of your nose with your finger. There’s a nerve there. It’s called the olfactory nerve and it’s directly connected to limbic system. The limbic system contains a gland called the amygdala that plays a major role in storing and releasing emotional trauma. The only way to stimulate this gland is through your sense of smell! This means the emotional brain responds to smell NOT words! You can use essential oils to send immediate feedback to this part of the brain. I diffuse oils every day to soothe my neurotic brain. You can get yourself out of chronic fight or flight this way, completely bypassing thought. How cool is that?!
You are just one workout away from a better mood. Get out there and move your body. It works.
Blame, resentment, anger. It festers, using up your precious energy reserves. Reserves that you need to live the creative, high vibe life you were meant to live. The best way to forgive other people is to forgive yourself. Forgive your mistakes, your flaws, those errors in judgment, the misguided choices. All of it. Take an inventory of all the ways you have disappointed yourself in the past and let it go. Use Ho’oponopono and say: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. When you can love yourself through all your flaws, you begin to see that the mistakes, flaws, errors in judgements and misguided choices of other people deserve forgiveness too.
I find that I laugh less and less the older I get and this is not okay. Funny movies, books, youtube videos (love listening to Between the Scenes with Trevor Noah). Whatever I can find. It’s my favorite way to get in a good vibe.
#14 Long Life Vitality Supplements or other good vitamins
Ever since I went off these vitamins for a week when I was in Mexico last year, I call them my “happy pills.” There’s no denying it! I feel better when I’m on them. There’s something about high quality vitamins. On top of great skin, less joint pain, a higher sex drive and less sugar cravings, I swear these damn vitamins put me in a better mood.
The truth is, I don’t get outside as often as I’d like. But we take three weeks every summer to visit the national parks. I ‘m now a proud card carrying member of the National Parks Association. Nature activates all the senses and makes you feel grateful to be alive. Go outside! Take a hike! Or just sit and watch and listen and smell.
I bit the bullet and hired someone to help me organize my photos. BEST $350 ever spent. It had been months since I decided to organize them myself. Since then, piles and piles of photos were everywhere. It was a huge mess. Like a disease, the mess burgeoned into a bigger and bigger mess. I hired someone to come help me get it sorted out. In a few hours my photos were organized and I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. Now she comes every month. This month she helped me organize my office. It feels amazing.
I’ve been dealing with a debilitating sleep-bladder disorder for years but it got progressively worse this year until I could barely function during the day because I was so sleep deprived. Sleep depro, whether it’s insomnia or something else can make it extremely difficult to stay in a high vibe. Thanks to a very special combo of essential oils (trust me on this I tried everything), I’m thrilled to report I’m sleeping again. Send me an email if you want to know what I used.
#18 REAL Joy
Sugar, white flour, booze, pills, pot… these are all fantastic sources of FAKE JOY. I used to love all of them. You feel crappy, sugar takes it all away or maybe a glass of wine (or two).
Well, temporarily. Then you have to deal with the aftermath. Extra calories, a hangover…shame. The other problem is that when you get used to feeling better the lazy way (sorry but it’s true), you forget how to be happy without the sugar, the white flour, the booze, the pills or the pot.
Without the quick hit of fake joy, your joy-radar will become much more in tune to the joy all around you — that gorgeous sunset, your child’s sweet smile, the taste of a raspberry on your tongue… and you’ll learn what really makes you happy.
#19 Your Story
I just spent the last year and a half writing a memoir. I did NOT expect the act of writing my story to be so therapeutic. The process gave me permission to work through a lot of trauma that I had never spent time on before. I came away with a whole new level of compassion and understanding for myself and other people in my life.
We all have a story. Write yours.
#20 Your Thinking
I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I finally got that you don’t have to believe everything you think. Why didn’t anyone tell me this before?! It could have saved me years and years of drama, emotional pain and bad behavior.
If you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about right now, here’s the true secret to happiness: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BELIEVE YOUR THOUGHTS. If you’re thinking something that makes you feel bad, find something to believe that makes you feel better!
If you want to learn more about this, check out The Work of Byron Katie or Self Coaching 101 with Brooke Castillo.
A lot of self help gurus will tell you that the key to happiness is to have a mentor, someone who inspires you and holds you accountable. Sometimes I wonder if they say that because they want you to hire them. “All the most successful people have one,” they say until you feel so inadequate that you dish out tens of thousands of dollars for some guru to tell you which way is up. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some fantastic mentors in my life, but hands down the best mentor I’ve ever had is myself.
Don’t put anyone on a pedestal. Learn how to talk to yourself the way a mentor would talk to you. Let yourself have some heroes but return, again and again, to yourself. YOU are the hero of this story.