Good vibes on the regular delivered direct to your inbox.

10k is 10k

 

That’s me living the life at Glacier National Park. I’m back and things are rocking and rolling — I wanted to give you a few updates.

The other day I got my results back from the Strenghsfinder. If you’re not familiar, it’s an online assessment to help you identify your “strengths.” And I am OBSESSED.

BTW did you notice I put quotes around the word strengths?

(I did that on purpose.)

Because your Strengths don’t always show up as, well, strengths… There are balconies and basements, to steal a phrase from Strengths coach LaTondra Murray Chandler.

One of my “strengths”, for example, is Achiever. The “balcony” of this strength is I’m a damn hard worker. Working hard is just something I do. The “basement” of this strength is living in a near perpetual state of frustration.

You might recall I challenged myself to earn ten thousand dollars in July. It was a group challenge actually.

Just for context before this challenge I had planned to do jack shit in July except binge episodes of Alone and get ready for my vacay.

But challenges are candy to me as an Achiever.

So I jumped in.

Yep as an Achiever I like achievement. (Obviously.) The problem is I do that thing where I get really wrapped up in the results I want.

This can be good and bad.

The good part is that you can’t get what you want unless you know what you want. And too many women don’t even know when they have to go pee let alone what the hell they want.  If this is you btw, you should join me for the Dream Big 5 Day Challenge. It kicks off MONDAY!

The bad part is this: shit rarely turns out the way we want it to.

Hence the frustration.

I had envisioned a relatively easy time earning 10k in July.

NO.

Here is an excerpt from my journal…

“Day 1 of the 10k challenge sucked ass. I reached out to 19 warm leads and didn’t hear back from one. Then I got ghosted by someone who was thinking of working with me. Then I overshared on FB and made myself look like an ass.”

Here’s another one:

“Day 2 of the 10k challenged sucked ass. I’m not sure if it sucked as much ass as day 1 but it was close.

I reached out to several of the people I emailed yesterday. This time I recorded a video. I only sent it to a fraction of people this time, not the whole list. Crickets AGAIN.

Then I found out it was a no from the person I was waiting to hear from about 1:1 coaching.”

It continued like this for days.

In fact, the Achiever in me probably would have thrown in the towel after day 2.

But here’s the thing, achiever or not, I know something about this line of work.

I am an ENTREPRENEUR.

By definition an entrepreneur is a person who organizes, operates and assumes the risk for a business.

RISK.

I know that being successful requires risk and means not giving up when things don’t go the way my Achiever wants them to go.

I eventually did  earn 10 k in July.

Some might call it a weak ass 10k.

But 10k is still 10k.

And you know what else? I would have never earned a dime if I hadn’t allowed myself to dream big. Which is why you should get your ass on over and sign up for the Dream Big Challenge.

So here’s the break down:

1 awesome new client –2500

3 awesome virtual retreat sign ups – 2391

A la carte coaching sesh –  $250

Reimbursement check for a class that got cancelled  – $150

SBA loan (yeah, I fucking counted it) – $1800

Affiliate payment – $109.60

Contract work (copywriting) – $2650

Misc. coaching –  $150

I had to count a reimbursement check, a government loan for 1800 and some change I found in the couch.

But you know what?

I hit my goal. Even if it wasn’t easy or effortless or sexy.

You know why?

Because I told my inner Achiever to take a chill pill, swallowed hard and kept going.

Plus I gave myself permission to dream big.

Here’s to your own big dreams. It might not be easy, effortless or sexy but a dream is a dream and every one of them matters.

Xo

-a

Princess Amy – NOT!

When I got married years ago, I was under the impression that it was up to my husband to meet my needs and anticipate what I wanted (and give it to me). Princess anyone? I didn’t realize it at the time, but I saw myself as a piece of property. Like a nice watch or a... read more

What they don’t tell you at spin class

I remember the first ever time I walked into a Burn Cycle class. My friend invited me to go with her… “First time?” She asked. “Yes…” I replied. That’s when she raised her eyebrows and gave me an ominous look that said sarcastically, “good luck.” Just getting on the... read more

For better or for worse

This morning my daughter went MIA before school. We only had 10 minutes left before it was time to leave for the bus and she still hadn’t finished her homework, eaten any breakfast, brushed her teeth or put on her shoes. I found her outside barefoot with some neighbor... read more

Who are you surrounded by?

I was born into a chaotic household. My parents were addicts. My three older sisters were teenagers, barely supervised, who were expected to take care of me and eventually my little brother who was born a few years later. My mom called herself a functional drunk. She... read more

9 Reasons You Procrastinate (And How to Fix It)

I have a subscription to a program called Master Writer. It helps me find synonyms, phrases, verbs… basically different words I could use when I’m stuck in my writing.   Looking up a word in Master Writer requires me to load the app in my browser.   Inevitably... read more

Getting Stronger

Why did you do it? This is number one question I get when people see me for the first time since I shaved my head. There are many layers to this answer. One is practical. Sitting in a chair for two hours is just TOO MUCH for me. Plus it’s expensive, and probably... read more

Pulling it off

So… I shaved my head last week. Well, I didn’t. My hair stylist, Morgan, did. Since then, I’ve heard the phrase, “pull it off,” many times. Things like… “You have a good face, you can pull it off. ” Or… “I’ve thought about shaving my head, but I could never pull it... read more

Pretty.

I am thinking a lot about pretty. All my life, I have aspired to be seen as acceptable in your eyes. “Don’t you look pretty?” You would say and I would think to myself, I passed. I have successfully maintained the correct weight, applied the right combination of... read more

BLACK LIVES MATTER

I remember when Black Lives Matter became a common meme. I didn’t get it. I was the first to think, “Wait. All lives matter.” I felt defensive, like someone was telling me that black lives matter more than other lives. What I came to realize was that of course all... read more

The Great Cake Pop Fiasco

  The other day my nine year old informed me she was going to be a baker when she grows up. “For my first project, I’m going to make cake pops,” she added. This statement filled me with hope and dread. Hope because I could see big things in her future. A... read more
Lockdown shame

Lockdown shame

Back when I had three children in diapers, I used to keep a copy of Immaculée Ilibagiza’s book Left to Tell on my nightstand. I never actually read the book. But I knew that Ilibagiza survived the Rwandan genocide by hiding 91 days with 7 other women in a 3’ x 4’... read more

Tick Tock

Let’s talk about time. All my life I’ve had an interesting relationship to it. And now, thanks to Covid-19, things just got even more interesting. First, a little background: I am a “multi-passionate” person which means I get a lot of ideas and want to do a lot... read more
It’s okay to be scared

It’s okay to be scared

Here’s a picture of me and my girl (don’t ask me why she’s in a bathing suit. I choose my battles.) playing a board game called Spy Ally. It’s one of her favs. Let’s be real. These are scary times. We are in lock down mode over here in... read more
25 Quarantine-Proof Activities to Consider

25 Quarantine-Proof Activities to Consider

As the coronavirus drama continues to unfold and the economy falls a part I’m trying to stay calm and centered while maintaining a solid supply of toilet paper. In an effort to be helpful, I’ve curated a list of quarantine-proof activities for your consideration. Read... read more
One Bad Thing…

One Bad Thing…

“When you’re living for the approval of strangers, and that is where you derive all of your joy and fulfillment, one bad thing can cause everything to crumble” – Taylor Swift I just watched Miss Americana last night on Netflix. If you haven’t seen it, WOW.... read more
Insert me there

Insert me there

If you were ever told… Not to ask for so much. That you were a bad girl. Too sensitive. Too big for your britches. That you were a mistake. If you had no one to talk to about your fears and your losses. If you were made to feel ashamed for feeling big things. If you... read more

Social media brings up my shit

Sometimes Facebook brings up my shit. And Instagram…don’t even get me started. Is it just me? Those whimsical shots of fresh flowers… Someone frolicking on the beach looking like a 10 in her bikini. Somebody on safari in Africa! So-and-so’s adorable (and... read more

The strangest gift I ever got

When I was too young to remember, my maternal Grandmother gave me a copy of Little Women. It was her favorite book. I didn’t really know this grandmother. She was quiet and shy and never really talked to me. So I was thrilled to bond with her over this book. But as... read more

The Great Rejection Hoax

One Saturday I was outside with my kids when I noticed a neighbor who just moved in running by with his little boy to the house across the street. The little boy who lived there came out to greet them and they all bounded off together. “Wow…” I thought, “those guys... read more

Dead Zingers

I have a close family member (who shall remain nameless) who is a master of what I call the “dead zinger.” What is a “dead zinger,” you ask? A “dead zinger” is an insult that goes so low it zings you every time you think about it, even years later. I... read more

The Painfully Obvious Secret to Everything

The other day I discovered a world behind a world. Did you know there is something called Instagram Stories? It lives just behind the profile pic. Turns out folks are hosting live events, running cute little surveys, posting giveaways and other content that doesn’t... read more
The Woman Who Farts from her Vagina

The Woman Who Farts from her Vagina

I went to a yoga class yesterday which reminded me of a bad experience many years back when I was struggling to get pregnant and trying to “Just relax,” which was the going advice for women like me, diagnosed with unexplained infertility. I wrote about it... read more

27 Ways to Turn Anxiety into a Superpower

The other day I made tentative plans with a friend to do something over the weekend. The day before, I realized I had to do some “momming” (this is my new word for running around like a decapitated chicken trying to get kids places on time), so I texted her to cancel.... read more