Good vibes on the regular delivered direct to your inbox.

Getting Stronger

Why did you do it?

This is number one question I get when people see me for the first time since I shaved my head.

There are many layers to this answer.

One is practical. Sitting in a chair for two hours is just TOO MUCH for me.
Plus it’s expensive, and probably toxic. And the color only lasts six to eight weeks.

But mostly I wanted to see what it would be like with a shaved head.

I was reading about change the other day.

Even when the change is positive, a promotion, winning the lottery, getting pregnant after years of infertility, there is still the discomfort of the unknown. There is grief over what will never be the same again. There is fear because we can never know exactly how things will go…

Change, good, bad or in between, thrusts us into “square one,” where we don’t know what the hell is going on, quoting Martha Beck.

Many of us avoid any kind of change opting instead to stay with what is predictable, even if what is predictable is a boring ass job or a verbally abusive spouse.

I understand why we do it…

Change is inconvenient.
There are choices required.
It is impossible to know how things will turn out.
You will have to create new habits, figure new things out, deal with unexpected problems.

While the mind offers round the clock reminders of all the things that could go wrong.

The other day one of my clients told me that her first thought when she saw that I shaved my head was “she must be crazy.”

I get it.

It seems crazy to willingly seek a change that makes me look older and less attractive.

But here’s the thing about change…

Change is hard, scary and inconvenient precisely because it challenges us to think differently, to solve problems and figure out how to cope with obstacles, some of them foreseeable but most of them entirely unpredictable.

Inconvenient? Hell. Yes.

BUT change, if you embrace it, makes you STRONGER.

You have to became a new and improved version of you to deal with change effectively.

So what if…

Instead of actively trying to avoid change…procrastinating, hiding behind perfectionism, making excuses, you actually choose to do something different?

What if you welcomed the discomfort of the change?

What if you saw it as an opportunity to rise to a new level?

What can you do to change up business as usual? Where can you impose obstacles on yourself to get stronger, smarter and more creative?

Maybe you finally leave a dead-end job.
Maybe you hire an assistant.
Maybe you move.
Maybe you invest a coach.
Maybe you set a long overdue boundary.
Maybe you set a long overdue deadline.
Maybe you announce something publicly to keep yourself accountable.
Maybe you shave your damn head.

Whatever it is, I guarantee, you will rise, like the goddess you are.


P.S. I’m doing another FB Live today at 1pm PT with my friend Desha Peacock. We’re going to talk list building strategies. The pros and the cons. I’ll be sharing the specifics from my speaker series. Hope to see you there! I’ll be going live from inside my biz page!

Pulling it off

So… I shaved my head last week. Well, I didn’t. My hair stylist, Morgan, did. Since then, I’ve heard the phrase, “pull it off,” many times. Things like… “You have a good face, you can pull it off. ” Or… “I’ve thought about shaving my head, but I could never pull it... read more


I am thinking a lot about pretty. All my life, I have aspired to be seen as acceptable in your eyes. “Don’t you look pretty?” You would say and I would think to myself, I passed. I have successfully maintained the correct weight, applied the right combination of... read more


I remember when Black Lives Matter became a common meme. I didn’t get it. I was the first to think, “Wait. All lives matter.” I felt defensive, like someone was telling me that black lives matter more than other lives. What I came to realize was that of course all... read more

The Great Cake Pop Fiasco

  The other day my nine year old informed me she was going to be a baker when she grows up. “For my first project, I’m going to make cake pops,” she added. This statement filled me with hope and dread. Hope because I could see big things in her future. A... read more
Lockdown shame

Lockdown shame

Back when I had three children in diapers, I used to keep a copy of Immaculée Ilibagiza’s book Left to Tell on my nightstand. I never actually read the book. But I knew that Ilibagiza survived the Rwandan genocide by hiding 91 days with 7 other women in a 3’ x 4’... read more

Tick Tock

Let’s talk about time. All my life I’ve had an interesting relationship to it. And now, thanks to Covid-19, things just got even more interesting. First, a little background: I am a “multi-passionate” person which means I get a lot of ideas and want to do a lot... read more
It’s okay to be scared

It’s okay to be scared

Here’s a picture of me and my girl (don’t ask me why she’s in a bathing suit. I choose my battles.) playing a board game called Spy Ally. It’s one of her favs. Let’s be real. These are scary times. We are in lock down mode over here in... read more
25 Quarantine-Proof Activities to Consider

25 Quarantine-Proof Activities to Consider

As the coronavirus drama continues to unfold and the economy falls a part I’m trying to stay calm and centered while maintaining a solid supply of toilet paper. In an effort to be helpful, I’ve curated a list of quarantine-proof activities for your consideration. Read... read more
One Bad Thing…

One Bad Thing…

“When you’re living for the approval of strangers, and that is where you derive all of your joy and fulfillment, one bad thing can cause everything to crumble” – Taylor Swift I just watched Miss Americana last night on Netflix. If you haven’t seen it, WOW.... read more
Insert me there

Insert me there

If you were ever told… Not to ask for so much. That you were a bad girl. Too sensitive. Too big for your britches. That you were a mistake. If you had no one to talk to about your fears and your losses. If you were made to feel ashamed for feeling big things. If you... read more

Social media brings up my shit

Sometimes Facebook brings up my shit. And Instagram…don’t even get me started. Is it just me? Those whimsical shots of fresh flowers… Someone frolicking on the beach looking like a 10 in her bikini. Somebody on safari in Africa! So-and-so’s adorable (and... read more

The strangest gift I ever got

When I was too young to remember, my maternal Grandmother gave me a copy of Little Women. It was her favorite book. I didn’t really know this grandmother. She was quiet and shy and never really talked to me. So I was thrilled to bond with her over this book. But as... read more

The Great Rejection Hoax

One Saturday I was outside with my kids when I noticed a neighbor who just moved in running by with his little boy to the house across the street. The little boy who lived there came out to greet them and they all bounded off together. “Wow…” I thought, “those guys... read more

Dead Zingers

I have a close family member (who shall remain nameless) who is a master of what I call the “dead zinger.” What is a “dead zinger,” you ask? A “dead zinger” is an insult that goes so low it zings you every time you think about it, even years later. I... read more

The Painfully Obvious Secret to Everything

The other day I discovered a world behind a world. Did you know there is something called Instagram Stories? It lives just behind the profile pic. Turns out folks are hosting live events, running cute little surveys, posting giveaways and other content that doesn’t... read more
The Woman Who Farts from her Vagina

The Woman Who Farts from her Vagina

I went to a yoga class yesterday which reminded me of a bad experience many years back when I was struggling to get pregnant and trying to “Just relax,” which was the going advice for women like me, diagnosed with unexplained infertility. I wrote about it... read more

Let yourself fail

Last week I wrote a post about why we say Black Lives Matter.  It was shared 290 times. Speaking out is scary. As a white women I have been hesitant in the past to talk about race. Mostly out of fear of saying the wrong things. Because I don’t want to hurt anyone, But... read more

The true secret to success

Can we talk about time management again? I know, I know. The phrase “time management,” is about as enticing as the phrase, “amortization,” or “home mortgage rate deduction,” or “annual percentage rate.” Because of this, I have avoided the topic for years, in the same... read more

Square One Sucks

Sometimes I fantasize about getting sick.   Not Covid 19 sick mind you.   Just sick enough to give me an excuse to cancel all my meetings, not make any meals and lay in bed reading The Fifth Season all day.   Martha Beck writes about The Change Cycle in... read more

Icy Cold Showers

Cold showers. I’ve been taking at least one a day for the past three weeks. I’m talking about the kind of cold that gives you an ice cream headache if you stand in the water too long without moving. When I studied Kundalini yoga, cold showers were part of the... read more